purpose

Tila's Alienese, or for short, Tilanese, is a language founded and spoken only by Tila Tequila. This blog is part of the QOCAP.BLOGSPOT.COM and its purpose is to simply ridicule Tila's eloquence. After analyzing her speech patterns from many of her videos, I have to say she makes the South Carolina 2007 look very intelligent.

Monday, May 2, 2011

The Royal Wedding Commentary Part #3


*plays with her hair* Love really does bring everyone together and I think that everybody out there is...you know, um, *methsmack* either looking for love or they don't realize that they-they're looking for love, but I think that everybody out there, is searching for a significant other. Umm, *methsmack* so, you know? I...I love the feeling of being in love and *plays with hair* I would love to get married *plays with her hair* soon and adopt children. Ummm, I would love to adopt children first. And have my own *plays with hair* and have a big happy family with my dog, Onyx, which is-she's watching, she's *chuckles* she's not watching the royal wedding. She's sleeping over there. But, ummm, *methsmack* yeah, you know? All I need is love! All you guys need is love. *pause* So...umm, earlier, I was so tired 'cause I woke up at 8am today and I had to go film for a new show...a new um show I can't talk about now but, so I woke up about 8am today and the-I had to do live commentary at 3 *methsmack*, so I was so tired, I was watching movies and to try to stay awake and so I'm sorry for looking a little bit...disgruntled...*looking confused* or, that's not the word. I'm sorry if I've looked a little bit um, not fixed up for whatever, but uh, it's three thirty in the morning! I'm in my bed! Soooo, um, yeah. *methsmack*

Um, how many children? *methsmack* Well, I love-I love-I've-every since I was a child, I've...always, always, always seen myself as um, *methsmack* Mama's boy type of mother? Like, I just...I dunno know. I just have this-I've always had that feeling of like Mama's boy. I just wanna be Mama's boy. I love my son and you know like, bake him cookies, and *methsmack* be Mama's boy and like, daddy...daddy and um, *methsmack* you know, you can have...you know, daddy's girl, but I definitely-cause I've a tomboy side of me and um, I also have a very sweet side of me so, I love...I would love to have a boy! Um, I would like to adopt a son first. Um, you know, I just...I'd raise them very well, you know? I would raise him to treat ladies with respect but also, because of the way I know um, how guys and girls think cause you know, I date both. Genders. *chuckles* Um, I would raise him very well so that he would get so many girls at the same time, it's not because he's being a uh, you know, a little man-whore, it's because I would teach him how to treat the ladies, and therefore, his charm, will automatically make him...um, a stud...to all the women out there! Thanks to Mommy Tila! Yes.

*methsmack* Ummm, yeah, I'll raise him really well. And, I just-I dunno know. I just see myself as a Mama's boy type woman and, sooo...*methsmack* any guy--any guys. No! *shakes finger* I can't adopt guys. Oh, no. That would be weird! *chuckles* Um, if I adopt, I would have to adopt ummm, like, I was saying the other day *plays with hair*, on Twitter, a lot of people *methsmack* umm, you know, they always want to adopt babies and they forget about the older children who don't have homes and they're orphans and they need family and someone to love them as well, so, I've been researching that and working with some agencies for...this past year now and I found that there are lot of older children that need homes. So, I've decided, to take into my own hands to...adopt older children-foster children, who are ummm...older, and ummm, neglected because everybody wants to adopt babies, newborns. So, I'm willing to adopt or umm, you know, foster children that are older and provide them with a nice home, a loving mother, um, me! And um, just build a family and um, *methsmack* you know, I dunno know. *methsmack* I've just always seen myself as Mama's boy. I love-I love that!

As for girls, uggh! It's...it's...girls are so much! I mean, I have to worry about them getting pregnant! You know, ummm, just...going through puberty, I would have to worry about them so much for-if I ever have a girl! And, I be a lot stricter on the girl because it's so more-like I do not want to have my girl, my daughter, to come home pregnant at thirteen, okay?! *chuckles* And um, you know, as a young girl, you know, you just...you're more vulnerable and the guys-they can take advantage of you at young age, so that's why it's like, harder for me to you know, I mean, that's why I want...boys! Ummm, I-I wouldn't mind having a girl, but, I definitely, definitely, want to have my own children one day. Umm, you know, just so...I can have my...my ummm, you know? After I've passed on, I can have my...my blood, my family, still here. Ummm, so yeah!

*methsmack* Who is the hotter prince? *reading question out loud* "You would still have to worry about your son getting girls pregnant." No! I wouldn't have to worry about my son's getting girls pregnant! Here's why! Because I'm a Mama's boy or er, he's Mama's boy. I'm very-I'm gonna be strict on him and I'm gonna be a very honest parent and ummm, because I've learned through my past and mistake and with my parents so *methsmack* um, my son would definitely not get women pregnant because I'm going to be very strict on him about that! And umm,*plays with hair* I'm not going to--I would love to spoil him because that's how I am! I love to spoil people I love! But, when I have children, I'm not just gonna um, you know, spoil them like, a lot of these other Hollywood people, and they don't have the concept of working, so when I have a nice home and everything, I'm gonna--I'm gonna tell them that *methsmack* umm, you know, it's being borrowed because Mommy has to work really hard and Mommy's boss is letting us borrow his house and his car and if Mommy loses her job, we're gonna be homeless!

So, I'm gonna instill that into my childrens' minds so that way they get scared that they have to work! So, if he comes home one day and say, "Mommy, I got a job at Burger King! I don't wanna-I don't want us to be homeless! And, I'm gonna try and help us make money..." and I'm gonna be so proud of him! So, I'm gonna keep them working without letting them know that we do actually have money, but, I'm gonna make them work their butts off! So, I'm gonna make them work at Burger King and make money, work hard, or else, Mommy and...the whole family's gonna get evicted because this house doesn't belong to us! Theirs Mommy's boss! Mommy borrowed this house and car, so...if we don't work hard enough, um, he's gonna kick us out. So, that's what I'm gonna tell my children, so they're not gonna be spoiled, and they're gonna work very hard for everything!

But, uh, when I do spoil them, *methsmack* umm, you know, they're gonna appreciate-appreciate that because you know, I've grew up very poor and I-I didn't have anything at all um, sooo...you know, I just...*methsmack* I want my children to have the same...you know, work ethics as I did to work hard and never give up on your dreams and uhh, not to be a spoiled brat because I'm very loving and I love to spoil people and love to spoil children, but at the same time, I'm very strict...I'm very strict! So, you know. Mommy, oh *inaudible*! Anyways, back to the royal wedding.

CLICK HERE FOR PART #4